MNF session 16: Letting the Blood Klowns

18 07 2011

Well, I have to admit, Horns of War was a little pissed off.  Here they are, rolling up into the remote mountains, delving into the earth to bring some aid and succor to a community in need, and what do they get? A xenophobic, paranoid, power-hungry, fear mongering, barrel of fuckery. Pardon my Elven.  So the second in command of the local government is secretly supporting the Blood Klown Klan? Not hard to imagine how this played out.  You secretly raise a little rabble, something to scare the common folk, put that fear back in them so they hide under the skirts of local government. Use this propaganda to discredit your rivals, while playing up your strengths. Until, like that baby basilisk you bought at the fair, it grows into a bigger beast than you can handle.

So now the Blood Klowns are operating independently of Anklyar, using the resources he gave them in a campaign to take over all of Thunderspire labyrinth.  Good show boys, good show.  Sadly for you, there has been a hefty price laid on your heads, and a certain Horns of War reputation dragged through the muck.  Killing your leader will not only bag some coin, but more importantly clear our names.

And that, gentle readers is what we did.

Hell have no fury like The Horns of War venting some stress after being betrayed, falsely accused, tried, and nearly imprisoned.

We left a trail of carnage, brains, gore, shattered skulls, frozen flesh, ash, melty bits, and urine stains throughout the Blood Klown Klan’s secret stronghold. Hobgoblin guts mingled freely, with shattered rogue minotaur horns, exploded duergar, and the odd burninated human. If anything, it was racial harmony on a unparralleled scale. When we finally cornered their leader, there was no parley, there was no “talk it out.”  We killed his guards, captured him, forced a confession, implemented Anklyar, cleared our names, and clocked out for the day.

I know Horns of War is pretty incredible, but in this particular instance, we handed these guys their hats.

The city of Thunderspire then proceeded to fail, in both their level of sorrow at mistaking us for villains, and in the rewarding of bountiful loots and prizes.  In fact, they had the nerve to mention needing even more help against a cabal of demon worshipping gnolls, and a tribe of evil minotaurs claiming rights to the city and all lands in the labyrinth.  Well, gentle reader, what can I say? Hearing of this further blight upon the fair denizens of Thunderspire, I was moved to action.  I turned my beautiful face towards the city leader, highest wizardess of the tower council, locking eyes with her I heroically said,

“Tough Titties.”

And the Horns of War left Thunderspire never to return again.

-Cham

remember to tip your service folks 😀

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3 responses

18 07 2011
Arthur Ogilvie

When did this happen did I miss something? Don’t get me wrong it seemed awesome but I feel I missed something.

18 07 2011
mondaynightfights

Over a year ago, with “last season’s” players. Just a tremendous douche of an underground trade city.

21 07 2011
ninjapirates011

“And what do they get? A xenophobic, paranoid, power-hungry, fear mongering, barrel of fuckery.”

This is by far, my favorite phrasing in the post. I love it when Cham writes things from her point of view.
Well done, my love.

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